When I got back to our room, I discovered that my mother had lost one of her contact lenses in the carpet. So, as tired and nervous as I was, I worried a lot more about her, with two bad knees and no contact lenses. If anybody had asked me right then, I'd have said, "Bring the baby back tomorrow morning. All I want to do right now is sleep."

But I knew I couldn't say that, so I started to unroll my money belt from around my ankle and counted out the required money into three separate envelopes - one for the orphanage donation, one for the passport fee, one for the local notary.

Getting rid of the money was a relief. It's kind of stressful to carry around huge amounts of cash, and physically uncomfortable, too. But sorting out the money didn't take me very long, and then my mother and I waited... and waited... and waited. And during all that time I worried and really wished I could put the whole thing off for another day.

But finally, around 9pm, I got the call to come up to another room to get my baby. The adrenalin kicked right in again, and my mother and I were up and out. As we approached the room, I saw other families hanging about in the hall, but I was in such a nervous state that I didn't notice whether they had their babies yet or not. I was really worried that Lara was going to start crying when I held her, and that I'd look like a complete fool and everybody would know that I knew nothing at all about babies. In many ways, I almost felt like a condemned prisoner heading for a public execution. But at the same time, I was very excited. I'd spent years trying to become a mother, and I knew that in a few minutes, for better or for worse, I'd be one.

I could see that the small hotel room was filled with people and the TV was blaring. I made my mother go in ahead of me so she could videotape it all. When I entered the room I saw a woman holding a baby dressed in pink pants and a striped sweatshirt. I thought it looked like Lara, but didn't want to grab for the wrong baby, so I stood there, like a deer caught in the headlights. Then the woman came up to me, handed me the baby, then gave a small red envelope to the baby. I turned towards my mother so she could videotape us, turned back towards the TV, where Mr. Gu took a flash photo of us. In the next instant, Tracey was telling us to go back to our room and wait. I told her I wanted to talk with Lara's foster mother, and then my mother, my new daughter, and I left.

As we left the room, I looked at my baby for the first time, and was completely awestruck at how beautiful she was. And I was completely amazed that she wasn't crying at all. I held her like a prize piece of porcelain, stepping ever so carefully, afraid she'd break.

But she didn't break and she didn't cry. We got back to our room, all fatigue gone, and sat and gazed at her in true wonder. Lara was barefoot, so the new Grandma put some cute clown slippers on her feet, and gave our baby her first toy, a plastic teething cookie. Lara held onto it tightly with one hand, and onto her red envelope with the other. She seemed interested in us, but not a bit afraid or upset.

After a while, the foster mothers came in and started playing with Lara. And we saw her smile and laugh for the first time. We learned that Lara wasn't nearly as fragile as I thought she was, as they threw her up and down and generally shook her all about and she chortled in delight.

The foster mothers didn't speak English and we didn't speak Chinese, but we talked to them and they talked to us. They admired Lara's toy and slippers and I gave Lara's foster mother the little photo album of my home and family. Tracey came in a little later, and translated for us. I didn't learn much about Lara. Only that she'd been abandoned at birth and named and cared for by her foster mother. Lara's Chinese name was Guo Yu Li. Guo was the family name given to all the babies in the orphanage, Yu was the foster mother's family name, and Li was her given name, meaning 'beautiful'.

I immediately felt a strong connection to Lara's foster mother. She wasn't merely an anonymous orphanage worker. In every real way, she was Lara's first mama, and I felt very lucky to have the chance to meet her and talk with her.

A little while later, the notary arrived and I answered his questions, with Tracey translating for us. I don't remember what all he asked, but I do remember that he did ask about my income and the size of my home. He seemed satisfied with my answers and left pretty quickly.

We were having a great time visiting with the foster mothers. A few more people had come into our room by this time, and I handed out gifts all around. I was kind of surprised when one of the women from our group poked her head in the door and reminded us in a rather cranky voice that others wanted to talk with the foster mothers, too, but by this time, we were ready to go to bed. I have no idea how late it was by this time. So all the visitors left us.

We didn't have a crib, but we put the two semi-circle chairs together and lined them with one of our comforters and had a perfect crib for Lara. She was nearly 10 months old, but clearly unable to escape from her makeshift bed. Unlike other Chinese orphanage babies I'd heard about, Lara was dressed in a very western fashion, disposable diaper and all. I finally got Lara's red envelope and plastic cookie away from her, then I stripped her down and put on her Gerber sleeper.

I laid Lara down on her back and then threw a cotton flannel receiving blanket over her, head and all. She cried loudly for about 10 seconds, then abruptly, became completely silent. While I watched in complete amazement, she tucked the blanket around herself better than I could have done myself, and immediately fell asleep.