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In the beginning I was pretty creative. I continued to interact with the apc list and made a lot of friends. I took some classes at the local hospital for infant CPR and infant care (interesting class... I was the oldest by at least 20 years and the only non-teenager ... but I actually did have fun!). I found 3 other families in the area who were also adopting from China and the 4 women managed to get together. I became friends with all of the families and kept in touch with them. I worked on picking out a name for my daughter because even though Yi Mei is a nice name (means artistic rose) I knew she would go through life having it mispronounced (Yi is pronounced Ee). I thought I had finally narrowed the name down to Claire Elizabeth but found out the hard way not to tell people the name I was thinking of...everybody had an opinion to offer. I had thought about giving her a Chinese name for a first name. I had several good friends and finally I decided to name her Mei Ling Elizabeth. The name Mei Ling is a combination of two of my friends' names. Elizabeth means 'dedicated to God' and because I identified so strongly with Hannah in the book of Samuel, I wanted my child dedicated to God like Hannah dedicated Samuel.
During the wait, my colleagues really rallied around me. Three showers were thrown. The second was attended by 60 people! Men were at all 3 showers. There was a tremendous outpouring of love. I was really humbled by it. At church I joined an expectant parent group and instead of a picture with a big belly, I had one taken holding Mei Ling's picture. I went shopping off the mountain (Boone is up in the Blue Ridge Mountains) with some of the women from the group and had a great time. I didn't need much because my mother was buying half of Phoenix and shipping it!
During this time, I had 3 people ask to go to China with me. It was a hard decision who to take. Finally I decided that my old roommate from undergraduate days would be the one. We have been friends since 1969 but since she lived in FL, we didn't see each other often. She was really excited about going. She and her husband don't have children and she has no nieces or nephews. This was going to be her niece. We teased how she would be my Lamaze coach.
Still the wait went on. Again it was when I least expected it, the call came in to go. Who would have thought it would be 10PM on a Friday night? But it did! I was told that I had to be in Hong Kong by Oct 25th. I had 3 more weeks to wait. I used every minute of that 3 weeks! My colleagues generously covered all of my classes up until Thanksgiving for me. My students all rallied behind me and supported me as I changed the syllabi and assignments. Funny thing though. I began to have so many irrational thoughts. I had to keep talking myself down from the ceiling. I got scared that I would get to China and someone would say that they had changed their mind or made a mistake and that Mei Ling and I couldn't become a family. I was afraid papers would be missing. What it seemed to come down to was I just couldn't believe this wonderful thing I had dreamed of was going to happen. I finally went to the Dr to see if she could give me something to calm down.... and then I never took it!
Before I knew it, October 23rd arrived.
Many people write about their trips and I always enjoyed reading about them. However, my trip wasn't like a lot of other people's trips. Oh, I went where many of them went and did what many of them did, but for some reason, I was focused in on my emotions and what I was feeling. I have never had such an emotional experience in my whole life.
My anxiety was pretty high when the dean's wife came to drive me to the airport. I was sure I had forgotten something. The 2 1/2 hour ride to Charlotte seemed almost surreal. After all of those months of planning, there I was in the back seat of that car with my suitcase, video camera, and carry-on. I flew from Charlotte to Atlanta where I literally sprinted to catch my connecting flight to NYC. I had a 5 hour layover there and met up with Susan Brown and her sister Mary Lou who were part of the Holt group. Jill arrived late from Fl and I was beginning to pace. Finally 1/2 hour before we boarded the plane, she showed up. We flew Cathay Pacific and it was a nice flight. Long.... but nice. Susan, Mary Lou, Jill and I got seats together and we talked and laughed. I eventually began to relax but I believe Susan and I identified with each other, just as Jill and Mary Lou did. Susan and I were a little more on edge and a little less jolly. When we landed in Hong Kong, it was 6 AM.
When we got to the BP International, it was too early to get our rooms. We went to the Kowloon Park nearby and met others from our group who were also waiting for their rooms. Our Holt group was composed of I believe 14 family groups going to Nanning and 8 going to Xiamen. There were 4 singles...2 in each subgroup and the rest were married couples. One couple brought their young son. After a short rest in the room, SUe, Mary Lou and Jill and I went sightseeing. We had tea at The Peninsula Hotel and watched the hoity toity crowd. The was one expensive cup of tea and scone... but the atmosphere was worth it! Then we took the Star Ferry over to Hong Kong Island and went to Victoria Peak. We must have spent at least an 1 1/2 hours in line for the free double decker bus and then for the tram. It was worth it though.
The next day, we had an orientation and got to meet everyone. I got to meet Rowena who I had met on the internet and Van who lived 3 hours away from me who I had contacted previously. The orientation was good but sobering. It was at that meeting that Jill finally realized what she had gotten herself into. She took a walk after the meeting to think. The rest of the day was spent at the Jade Market and a mall, where we ate in a French restaurant and Stanley Market (definitely worth the trip. It was quite a contrast on that side of the island from what is generally perceived to be Hong Kong). We came back exhausted but I did not sleep that night. My daughter was waiting for me and that thought was rarely our of my mind.
On Sunday, we boarded a bus for the airport. Our smaller Xiamen group was finally all together. We began to get to know each other. I must say we were a good group. We all got along and I don't think anybody got annoyed or upset with anybody. We bonded and were supportive of each other. We were from all over the US - NJ, PA, OR, CA, NC (me!), and 3 families from WI. I liked everybody. I don't think I had a favorite. Everybody was different. We shared what we had with each other.
That day we flew to Xiamen and got a surprise as soon as we got there. We were met by Connie, our Holt representative and Charlie, a young man who was supposed to be our tour guide (we could barely understand his English). We were originally supposed to stay at the Xiamen Plaza and were told we could pay by credit card. When we were on the bus going to the hotel we were told by Connie that we had been changed over to the more expensive Holiday Inn and that we had to pay by cash. That was a big unexpected expense! Things did work out though. I was able to write an American check to Holt to cover the expenses.
The Holiday Inn was quite something. It reminded me of a few Hyatts I have stayed in here in the US. It was 5 star and quite nice. I remember sitting in my room and thinking, "This is Communist China???" We lived quite well in that hotel. I got to watch an NBA basketball game with Japanese commentators! Anyway, we stayed pretty close to the hotel that night. We had been told that we would be going to the orphanage early the next morning. I turned the tv entertainment center in our room into a mini nursery that night. Again, I did not sleep well. The anxiety I had the weeks before I flew to China had let up. I calmed down a bit knowing that nobody was going to change their minds, but I was still nervous. I was about to become a mother and don't think I even knew what to feel. It was a lot of emotions whirling around.
Well... 8AM came quickly and all 8 families were down in the lobby waiting for the bus. I couldn't believe it when earlier I had made my first bottle of formula. I had never done that before and it squirted all over the place when I shook it up (I learned to mix rather than shake!). Well, we waited and waited. The bus was over an hour late. Nervousness was in the air. Finally the bus came and off we went. It turned out to be a tremendously emotional bus ride for me. Charlie was going with us to the orphanage and it was his first time to do it. He was filled with emotion. He decide to serenade all of us, who were all becoming first time parents while we were traveling to the orphanage. I couldn't believe it. I was touched deep within my heart by that young man. I just got lower and lower in my seat and I began to sob because I was so touched. Someone was serenading me as I was on my way to become a mother. Ten years of planning and waiting and here was Charlie crooning his heart out as the dream was about to be fulfilled. I don't think I will ever forget Charlie. I may not have understood his English but I understood his heart.
We pulled up to the orphanage in a very modern part of town. We went through a gate and there in front of us was a newly built building with a fountain in front of it. I believe the building housed both the orphanage and some sort of retirement home. We were ushered into a nice room with red furniture. We were served hot tea in glasses. Our hosts could not have been more gracious to us. Connie ran around and helped us sign a paper. We sat nervously looking at each other. The room was electric with emotion. Suddenly Connie said, "The babies are coming," and all of a sudden the room was filled with women carrying babies. Talk about emotion - 14 people becoming first time parents all at once. Words can't even begin to describe it. In all of the confusion I heard "Xia Yi Mei" and I dropped my camcorder and ran. Into my arms came my daughter. she didn't cry and at first neither did I (Charlie's serenade had emptied my tear reservoir!). By then Jill had grabbed the camcorder and continued the filming. My daughter's huge eyes were taking everything in. She was wiggling to see everything she could... and she was laughing and smiling. Turns out that she is very ticklish and the workers knew it. They clucked her under her chin and she convulsed with laughter. The whole room went silent to hear this young child giggling away. She smiled and smiled. And she was ACTIVE. It was like holding a little wiggle worm.
She was wearing a little pair of Spencer, made in America pajamas, with a disposable diaper underneath. It was a far cry from the split pants and heavy sweaters I had heard about! We were told what the babies' feeding schedule was and what they ate. Then the director came around and spoke to each of us individually about our children. I was the last one and made the mistake of giving th director some pictures of 2 children who had been adopted 6 months earlier. All she told me was that my daughter had been brought to the orphanage. All my other questions got lost in the shuffle. Around the room there was a lot of activity. We all saw each other's babies and there were smiles and tears. Finally we boarded the bus and were giving a bottle of formula by the orphanage for the road. Mei ling finished hers in 1 minute and handed it back to me. She wanted to look out the window. She wasn't going to miss a thing. Members of my group laughed when they saw the active child who was my daughter. They said it was a perfect match! We quickly stopped at Civil affairs and filled out the paperwork and then returned to the hotel. Mei Ling proceeded to fall asleep on my bed. I remember sitting there and staring at her in wonderment. I was so amazed.
When Mei Ling awoke, we played a bit. She didn't know what to do with the toys and she couldn't sit up very well. Jill went out for awhile to leave us alone. She returned with some rolls for me for lunch. I wasn't very hungry. Jill played with her a bit. Mei Ling continued to smile and she giggled. Then we were off to the Notary offices to complete the process. It was really hot and the humidity was high. It was hard to sit in that office. We all sat around a big oval table and we were called up 2 at a time for our interviews. Mei Ling and I were the next to the last to be called. Charlie translated for us. It was actually a low stress interview. I was asked why I wanted to adopt a child from China. I remember also being asked how I intended to educate her. Well she was wearing an Appalachian State bib at the time. I told Charlie I was starting her thinking about college at an early age. After what seemed like a few hours we returned to the hotel. It was nice to cool off. Mei Ling slept again and then we went down to one of the 3 restaurants in the hotel. They brought us a high chair but we had to use a tablecloth to prop Mei Ling up in it. She got a little fussy and I left a little early with her. Finally we went back up to our room and I believe we slept that night.
Kyle and Mei Ling's Story continued...