Sunday morning we had our adoption interview with the officials in Guangzhou and were all packed up, checked out and ready to hit the road to our orphanages by noon. June 1st was a very significant day in China, it is Children's Day and is an internationally recognized (except in the US) day of celebration for kids. The White Swan was buzzing with kids and parents from all over. I was really hoping that today would be our "gotcha" day to celebrate such a special day of recognition to children.
We rode in a tour bus that had huge windows and a very nice ride. Rich and Cindy had told me early in the day that today (Sunday June 1st) was their wedding anniversary so unknown to them or anyone in our group I purchased a cake at the deli and presented it to them on the bus after we got rolling. Nobody had a knife so Rich got creative and used a piece of the cardboard to slice the cake. We ate from napkins and as far as I know there were not any major messes.
Another lady in our group is Carey. I had met her on the APC and we had become good acquaintances over the prior few months. She let the cat out of the bag and told me she was a Chocoholic so I brought her a special candy bar from a premier chocolatier here in the Northwest.
A couple of hours down the road we stopped at a gas station for a potty break and this is where we found the infamous "trough toilets". A wall about 6 feet high with a trough that angled from one side of the wall to the next to facilitate the use of gravity for drainage and a stench that brought tears to our eyes. We had a good laugh making fun of it. Of course the guys had it much easier than the gals.
Sharon and I were going to Yangchun and the rest of our group was going on down the road to Maoming, so the bus took a diversion down a 2 lane road that went for about 30 miles through gorgeous tropical countryside filled with rice paddies, palm trees, fish farms and many other crops. It was a very pretty part of the trip. We saw lots of water buffalo, chickens, pigs, etc. People transport things on bicycles like you wouldn't believe! I saw one guy with an acetylene tank used for welding strapped to his bike. Another guy had fluorescent light tubes and yet another had a big box full of chickens. It certainly lends color to the culture.
Carey HAD to go to the bathroom as we were rambling along down the narrowest part of the road we had traveled yet, so the bus driver looked for a spot to pull over and she yelled, "I can go in the bushes, I've done that". The driver pulled over when he found a spot big enough and we pulled up to what appeared to be a residence. Raymond, mine and Sharon's escort, stepped out along with Carey and went up to the house but they had no indoor toilet so she ran across the road into the bushes. She ducked behind a building and as she was back there a water buffalo kept creeping up closer and closer to her as she was trying to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, she did her job quick and tore out of the bushes to get away from that water buffalo. Myself and several others have it all on video! (except the private part).
The road then abruptly turned into a "construction zone". War zone would have been a better description as the road had not appeared to have been graded in 6 months and 50 rain storms and 100,000 cars later. It was full of pot holes, ruts, rocks, bumps, you name it! It was quite the ride.
We all had fun going in to Yangchun and making fun of it and enjoying the ride but when the rest of the group found out they had to ride back out that way after dinner in the dark and then go over it 2 more times to pick us up they threatened mutiny! It was on this rough part of the road when the bus was rocking to and fro that the remains of the cake fell from the rack above our heads and made a nice big SPLAT!! on the bus floor. Of course, Murphy was on board and the cake landed face down in the aisle. No volunteers to lick it up!
We pulled up to the Golden ROC hotel around 5:30 PM and the group decided to have dinner at the hotel before the rest of them headed back out that awful road and on to Maoming. Americans pronounce the hotel like Rock, but the ROC is an abbreviation for the Chinese meaning of Eagle. There was a mix up on our room rates so it took us awhile to get checked in and get everything straightened out then we headed up to the restaurant to eat dinner with everyone else.
Since it was still early in the evening, everyone was asking us if we were going to receive Marissa tonight. We were told "I don't think so", but by around 6:30 just as we were finishing up dinner, we learned that they would, indeed, be bringing us our little Marissa that evening! How exciting that news was. We had been hoping that we could receive her on International Children's Day, that would really make it special. The rest of the group got word of our announcement since they had not yet departed for Maoming. We were so excited I could hardly finish my dinner.
We were told to go to our room and wait and they would ring for us around 7:30 PM. Everyone in our group was really excited for us and we were buzzing! That was the longest hour of my life. We got out pajamas, formula, bottles, nipples, diapers, toys, blanket, etc. We were ready, I think.
We were very nervous and the wait just intensified it. The butterflies in my stomach were flapping their wings and hatching cocoons at the rate of 10 per minute. It felt like I had swallowed Mothra for dinner.
7:30 rolled around and we nervously went next door to Raymond's room and knocked on the door. Expecting to walk in and see it full of people and our baby we were greeted by Raymond and told it would be another hour! Talk about disappointment and intensified butterflies! Raymond told us he would ring for us when it was time.
Finally at 8:40 PM Raymond knocked on our door and said it was time. Armed with the video camera we headed next door to receive our baby. We walked into the room and there were about 4 officials from the orphanage, Raymond, Sharon, myself and of course, beautiful little Marissa all crammed into one dark little room.
We were handed her immediately upon entering the room and Sharon took her as I videotaped the special moment. I set the camera on a small tripod and just let it run so I could enjoy the action and Sharon stood in view of the camera so we could capture the event. At first she had no interest in me so Sharon just held on to her the whole time. After about 10 minutes they had us take her back to our room to get acquainted. She was so good, but I really think it was terror. We got to meet the orphanage director and Marissa's nanny that evening. I don't know who the other 2 people were. If I was told, I don't remember.
We went back to our room and laid her down on the bed and she had this very serious look on her face. She would look at me, then Sharon, then me. She did this looking back and forth, back and forth for about 20 minutes. She was probably wondering who these silly Honkies were that were invading her face. She was such a beautiful little girl! Much prettier than I ever imagined from seeing her recent pictures.
I must tell you, bonding and attachment and "love at first sight" don't happen, folks. I was expecting all these upwelling of emotions, tears, joy, euphoria, etc. and experienced almost nothing. I felt cold, heartless, somewhat afraid. Here is this life being thrust into your arms and you are now responsible for this little human for the rest of your life! It was quite an experience, just not the way I had envisioned it to be.
I am glad we got her so late because she was ready for bed. We got her to bed by about 9:30 and she slept all night. We pushed the beds together and put down a Thermarest mattress over the crack and had her sleep there so we could be close to her. She was a little angel, the only time she cried was when she was hungry or wanted something and we didn't have a clue as to what she wanted. We all slept through the night that evening.
I am not "buttering up" how Marissa was, I tell it like it is and she was and is just a very good child.
The next morning was pretty much a repeat of the evening before. Marissa would look at Sharon, then me, then Sharon with this real serious look on her face. I do feel fortunate that we received a child that didn't cry very much. Seems the only time she cried was when we were out with other people in our group, they must have thought we had a real screamer on our hands.
We dressed Marissa in a really cute outfit and headed down to breakfast with Raymond. This would be our first real Chinese breakfast since being in China. I had no idea what to expect and had no idea what I was eating most of the time but it was good. The hotel restaurant had a dim sum cart which is steamed dishes in little bamboo steamer baskets. Raymond motioned for the cart and they would remove the lid and show us the contents. We had dim sum with some of everything in them.
Raymond had me try something that was rather chewy like squid and told me it was buffalo organ. Which organ I didn't dare ask, but I am quite convinced it was intestine. My dim sum was very good and Raymond ordered a variety of teas which were wonderful. He explained to us how each tea did something for the body like cleansing it of toxins, etc. The Chrysanthemum was out of this world, I drank an entire pot by myself.
After breakfast, we put Marissa in the baby sling and decided to wander around Yangchun for awhile. We started off wandering down the street and soon had a band of followers everywhere we went. Little children and women would follow us and attempt to communicate with "thumbs up", smiles, waves, say "OK" or "Lucky Baby". It was a very exhilarating walk. We stopped at a small sidewalk shop and bought some little insignificant thing and the merchants really got a kick out of us stopping by.
After our walk we attempted to feed Marissa. What a joke of a parents we were! We starved that poor kid for 2 days! The rest of our group went to Maoming so we were left alone and defenseless with this poor kid that we hadn't a clue what to do with. At least the other parents could swap nipples and formula and talk to each other about what works and what doesn't. We tried formula, rice cereal and baby food but she didn't want it. We were afraid she would dehydrate since she wouldn't take much of anything.
We went down to lunch and Raymond fed her some rice kernels from a chopstick and she ate it! Duh! The kid was on solid foods and didn't want that "baby stuff" anymore. We started feeding her food from our meals and she was happy as a bug in a rug. We still had a problem with liquids. It wasn't till we were back to the White Swan with our group that we finally got a nipple that she could drink with.
There is this young, cute hostess in the Golden ROC restaurant that just adored Marissa. Every time we went to eat she would take her and cuddle her and walk around showing her off to everyone. We ended up having our picture taken with her and we will send her a copy of the photo. Everywhere we went we were complimented about Marissa's beauty. Being Dad, I accepted them even though I personally had no say in the matter.
After lunch we had the most exciting and emotional part of our trip. I didn't have a clue what was going on, Raymond was arranging some of those "bike taxis" for us to go on a tour of the town and just as we were leaving, he said we were going to the site where Marissa was found.
She was found abandoned on the steps of the "Old men's unit", a home for elderly men that don't have sons to care for them. They also have some babies in there. We were shown the steps where they found her and videotaped the steps and surrounding area. It was very emotional to see the actual place where she was found. She is such a beautiful little girl it must have been very difficult for her mother to give her up. I can not imagine the torment the mothers must go through when they are faced with this option. I pray that somehow Marissa's mom knows that she now has a loving family and will have a decent life.
We left there and went on a bike taxi tour of Yangchun, it was fascinating. There are many small shops crammed next to each other and It was hard to make out just what they did in each one. Some were like regular stores but some were like a small garage with no door and just a lot of "stuff" piled into them. I couldn't see how any one of them made enough to live on. They didn't have signs up so you could tell what they did there. I guess you just know by living there, they certainly don't advertise.
Our taxi tour took about an hour and only cost us 60 Yuan for 3 taxis. That is roughly $7.50. The entire trip was inexpensive like that.
Back up in our room, we started getting acquainted with Marissa. She is quite the little mimic. I mentioned the Thermarest pad we put her on, well I ran my finger nails across it and it makes a funny sound so she would do the same thing over and over and over again, it was so funny. She would clap her hands when we clapped. She would make this little noise like "AAH" (as in AT) and we would mimic her and she would mimic us back. She was so cute.
Then she blew a raspberry. I swear she started it, I had nothing to do with it. We blew raspberries back and forth for awhile and still do, only now she is a real pro at it. First thing she does when she wakes up in the morning is throw us a big raspberry. That's also how she greets people.
Fast forward to dinner, we had dinner with the orphanage officials (at our expense, of course) and had a great time. Another group of 3 families had just arrived and hadn't yet received their baby so they were getting a kick out of Marissa and our dinner party. The officials there must never have to buy their own meals with all the families coming in all the time.
We had a feast! I can't begin to tell you what we had, but it was all very good. Between 8 people we had about 10 different dishes and 3 huge bottles of beer and the tab came to about $35.00. I thought for sure we were in for at least $100. That's the bummer of being a lone group, we got to bear all expenses by ourselves.
The next day we were heading back to Guangzhou and the White Swan. We were told by Raymond that we had 2 choices: 1) We could take the train back or 2) We could take a taxi out to the highway and meet the bus. We decided to take the taxi and meet the bus as we wanted to be with the rest of our group for the trip back to Guangzhou. The other group had threatened a mutiny if they had to ride into Yangchun and back out again over that nice road that was under construction. And this was the same group that had such a wonderful time making fun of that fabulous road on the way in the first time!
The taxi ride took 1 hour and 15 minutes and cost about $20. We waited at a roadside shop that sold all kinds of knives. Raymond bought a huge sword that looked like something a Samurai would carry around. He said it was good luck to hang one over your bedroom door to ward off evil. He bought 2 of them so I wonder what he's been up to lately.
As we were waiting for the bus, the proprietors of the shop got a kick out of Marissa and offered us some hot tea. Perfect drink of choice for a nice 90 degree 95% humid day. We had to wait about 20 minutes for the bus to arrive.
It was fun getting on the bus and meeting all the new babies. Flashes were going off and video cameras were rolling as everyone got reacquainted. We thought the bus was crowded on the way in! On the way back with all the babies, we barely had room to breath!
About 1 hour down the road Marissa decided she didn't want her lunch after all and gave it back to Sharon, all down the front of her nice outfit. We didn't realize till then that she was sick. She was running a fever and luckily we had a ped doctor with us and she recommended we start her on the antibiotics, so we did and within 2 days she was feeling much better.
This will be the end of my China trip report, the rest is just eating at the White Swan and walking around, not very exciting stuff.
An update on Marissa: We had her 1 year birthday party for her the next weekend after we returned. She is now 13 months old as of the 10th. She eats all solid foods, eats like a horse, has gained 1.7 pounds and actually has a belly now. She is very healthy, all her tests so far have come back ok. She was extremely iron deficient but is on iron drops to correct that. She is going to be walking any day now. We walk her around while she holds our fingers and she walks holding onto things. She has made such incredible progress in the 1 month she has been home it astounds me.
As far as the attachment thing goes; Yahooo! We are all feeling very close these days. She is learning how to give kisses, hugs, she smiles and laughs a lot and is just a little bundle of joy.
Darrell Patterson, Sharon White and Marissa Yang Bao
Patterson Family Album
nsi@televar.com